antlers I suggest trying to set a meeting up with the key players at school yourself to brainstorm about some behavioral interventions that you might try to help refocus son
invite your ex
she may or may not show
but at least you will get some help dealing with your son's behaviors
invite the school vice-principal counselor key teachers
express your concerns
ask for help
give any facts that might help them relate to son better
open that door to communication
get everyone you can on that same starting page
don't paint ex as the bad guy even if she is and even if she doesn't show up
