It's in my best interest. I'm just not getting any love in return I can measure at this time, but it takes me back to my unconditional love I must give at this time, eh? Because that is the man I want to be.
You may not get any love you can measure for long time or ever.
You're getting there J.
I might borrow your love measurement gauge so I can re-calibrate it. Sure, I'll loan it to you anytime.
You are measuring love by what your W gives back to you?
What I perceive as her love for me as in the past behavior.
Is there another way maybe to look at it? The fact that she is still here? that's what she says is proof she's trying her best right now. maybe if I give her the love she needs, I won't have to worry about measuring her return love?
Maybe not even to try to measure it or value it? Yes, but if I go there, isn't it all a one way street. Then maybe we reversed our R. I'm the giver and she's the taker now? Didn't work too well with roles reversed.
How would you begin to measure it anyway? More words of encouragement and physical bonding (hugging, kissing, etc.)
Time? Time with me, which we send a good bit now, but not talking about us or R.
Words? words are important as one of my LL.
Money? No, don't want that from her.
Her responding to you? Holding me, kissing me, hugging me, cuddling with me, acting like she's excited and happy to be with me.
________ Fill in the blank?
Your own LL maybe?
Yes, Words of Affirmation and Physical Touch
You talk about unconditional then you use the word measure?
How do those two concepts mesh together for you?
They don't really. I cannot love unconditionally then have conditions can I? I want to love her unconditionally but am not there yet obviously. If I were, I wouldn't ask for anything in return.
M 43, W 40 T 22. M 14 D 14, S 9, S 8 DD 11/21/11 Retrouvaille 4/13/12--and the healing begins as we begin a new journey together!
