Hey, Brian!

did you win big? Tell me all about YOUR big weekend! Glad you are back!

I'm having FUN! Though kind of worried about h...he seems to be trying to not get too close to me. I did manage to get to see him this weekend but he made it hard with comments like whatever you want to do, come over whenever, whatever you do is fine, etc. He refused to sit next to me on the couch when I invited him. After that I sat on the couch watching the movie while he sat in his chair. Then he went off to bed and the boys and I stayed in the living room. Eventually lying on the floor became painful so I went to our bed. h immediately came over to my side . Well you know .

We spent the day as a family at his suggestion. I was ready to leave by 10am but he wanted to go buy the boys' their soccer gear so went then had lunch together. H left us at 1:30p so that he could go to his counseling appt.

MC says h is still unsure about the divorce which I guess is good. MC said he gave h some things to do for the m and had him look for my changes and be encouraging. I shot off an email to MC asking for things h may be looking for as far as changes. MC encouraged me to follow the advice in the book "proper care and feeding of husbands" and to trust God. Not much else I can do since my h has free will...he can do whatever he pleases.

It's hard. I'm unsure how to react to h's attempts to not get close to me. Is he just testing me? Or is he just using me and going into d day and doing the d thing for sure? Kind of like stringing me along? Oh, the worst thoughts are in my head. I will just die if he leaves me... .

I'm so scared, Brian. I think it is encouraging though that h has our couple photo from the company christmas party in a frame on his nightstand.

Brian, let's plan our party for this coming Friday night. Maybe we could catch a movie together after happy hour ! Got to stay busy you know? till later...

Cindy