I'm glad that alaskangal and holdingon made it over here to you! They're giving you some great comments!
Yes, you know what to do, 'cuz you've done it before, and have done it well! Do get back and look at what you've done that has helped you towards your goals, and keep doing more of it!
It really is tough to put your wants and needs to the side all the time. It can seem that it's never ending, and leads to a lot of frustration. However, I'm pretty confident that with your H, the more you space you give him, the closer he'll draw towards you, and be more willing to meet some of your needs.
Hang in there, and keep doing some outside of the R type of stuff for YOU!
JJ
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