feeling like giving up.....former DBing against OW

[imthemom]

This is not going to make any sense..I just need to get this stuff out of my head before it makes me crazy.
Sunday was worse then I expected (and theres that word again..expected...set my self up every time..working on that)
I had to call H and demand that he come over and talk to S14, he finally did and I left them alone in his room and they talked for awhile and then went for a drive.
S14 came back seemingly fine and began to tell me all about H's "gf"...(imo he gave him way to much info but thats neither here or there)
How they met:
at the 7-11 around the corner from my house..
Her name were she lives and the fact that she has 3 kids, twin S17 and D20..she and H live within an 8 block area of my house, her kids DO NOT go to school with my son thank gawd!!

all in all it was way more information then I wanted and Im sure more then S14 needed...he did not say alot after that download and I managed to make it till he went to bed before I fell apart and cried in bed all night with no sleep. luckily had the next day off work for the holiday and managed to hold it together to get S14 to school before I went home and cried for another 4 hrs...
Took S14 to C the afternoon after school and he refused to talk...at all...he just sat there in session and looked completley defeated...it was heartbreaking. I told him how proud I was of him and how he is handling the last year and that I loved him but it didnt seem to matter.
since then he has started to ask questions of me....one of them being Did D cheat on you....yesterday I finally said "S14..Your D and i are married...I did not know he was seeing another woman, He lied to both of us about it and snuck around..what would you call that? I hate the fact that I am forced to be in these conversations that I do not want to have!!!

Yesterday S14 asked me how I found out about this girl...I told him that had nothing to do with him and how his D felt about him but he would not let it go... I finally told him I went over to the old house to talk to H and she was there....He said "did they know you were coming?" I said ...ummmm no.... that was the end of the conversation.

Yesterday I S14 and I went to the local grocery store to go to the bank...(on an up note, my mother sent me a check to get me threw the next couple of months...GROCERIES!!!!!!!)
As we pull in the parking lot S14 says oh by the way, she works here........yes not only do they live within blocks of each other and me, she works about 3 blocks from my house..at my grocery store. And of course who do we run into right as we walk in the door.....I had never seen her but S14 was looking at name tags and spotted her immediantly.....I didnt like the whole situation...my son angry looking at name tags..feeling like I shouldnt be someplace that I go on a regular basis...feeling like I shouldnt have my son in this situation..it was horrible.

and the kicker is, of course she is tall and younge and gorgeous and blond with legs up to her friggen neck....Im no slouch but shes alot younger then me.....I felt old and ugly...GAWD!!!

In my head she was this younge little booty call who had no life..in reality she is an employed mother and its a pretty seriouse relationship...it feels like im having to process it all over again. and now that its out it feels so different...i cant even talk to him or see him...im so humiliated. He has been in this relationship for probabley 10 months...and ive been a fool.
My son is so hurt..he is acting like hes in shock..we are planning his bday party for next weekend and Im trying to keep him focused on that ..but I can see it on his face.