Separation, Settlement, or Servellience?

[Yasu]

I give up, I give up, I give up, and I give up. How is that for detachment?

I really needed to receive my check to day. I left a couple VM's yesterday, requesting he put my check in the mail so I receive it on time today. One VM was enough. But no. I had to give a little more info -- that being, "I'm really trying to get out of town, and am low on funds due to his last late payment.". Also, said, of course, I like to chat with you about other things besides money."

There you have it. I broke my NC. I am an idiot. I almost called back really angry - thank God I controlled myself.

I am angry he will not pick the phone. Well, he knows it's safe to call me now. And obviously, he does not want to speak to me, and I must just back off. As, testing the waters, has shown the waters are not warming up at all.

The gears slip very easily back into detachment mode. I believe silence was much better to hear than his voice. I actually appreciate that very much. I would like it even better if he had bought the phone block plan that I paid him two years in advance to install on his cell. Naturally, he pocketed the money, and did not sign up for the plan. He could change his cell number too.

I have no other issue. No drive by issue, no calling at work issue, no spy issue. But, once in a blur moon, I do get the itch to check the waters, or VM about a financial matter.

Trial and divorce is imminent. And I know my boundaries. He may not know them - with regards to the disolution of the marriage. But, he may come to know it if he has any feeling for me left. Again, thank you for reading. Yas

Next Steps: I am trying to imagine a room mate sharing this house with me. Will leave town soon, to make final trip to rental, to remove my stuff.

Thank you for listening. Yas