Hey there....well the marriage counselor seems to be giving you some good advice. Thanks for telling me to stop by and read it.
I got a call today and acted as if...that seemed to be going fine...when I asked if he wanted to talk R...he said he was busy and in the midst of working on a job he would like to complete. I respected that and let him get off the phone...I actually said good bye first and told him I would call him later this evening if I wasn't too busy. Am wondering now....I guess I should call him. Put spouse first. I was going to fake too busy. I will not initiate r talk though.
I think you are doing a great job. I understand how you feel and my H is very similar to yours in some ways. Mine does not go out to bars or out with the boys at all though...he just stays home all the time and vegs out to sports ...unless he is furious with me and then he takes a trip to go ice fishing with his relatives in Minnesota!
I don't have any words of wisdom for you other than this that worked for me way back when with my angry spouse...
When he is yelling and screaming say things like this...
I hear and see that you are angry. I am sorry that you are angry because of ...... I don't like to see you so upset. Is there something I can do to help you feel less angry?
It sucks at first...but it Did work for me..way back when...and I am going to start trying it again...it's sort of giraffe jackal conversation...you are the gentle giraffe ...he is the angry jackal...you talk him down and let him feel listened to...he becomes a giraffe..sort of...he will never be as empathetic and caring as you LOL...but he will become less violently angry if he feels you are hearing him and validating his feelings....
good luck...it did work way back when for me...
hugs...Akgal...
PS...You get my Working To BE A Good Spouse...Not a Mistreated House Mouse DB'er for Today AWARD .....you are not a pushover and you deserve to be respected...we all do....Hugs and prayers coming out atya...
