OK, so now we have a viewpoint on a driection to take.
Cindy, you need to detach. I know it's hard, but you have to stop letting his actions trigger responses, and you have to drop your expectations of him. Expect nothing, and see what you get. Don't react, ponder. Don't defend, look at his side.
Doesn't excuse all of his behavior, but it appears he refuses to change unless you do, and you've got some of the same attitude.
