I am trying very hard not to have negative thoughts consume me but it is so difficult!!! The thing is, whether I know or not.. It doesn't change the situation so why does it matter? By confronting.. Do I expect him to instantly feel remorse and come home and everything will be better? Of course not! He would get defensive.. I end up being the crazy b and feels more justified that he made the right choice.
I emailed him back saying it was fine that he stay here while we're gone and that I just wanted to know whether I needed our neightbour to check up on our place. I did backslide though. I asked if he could please move the bike that didn't belong to us this weekend. I didn't want it here any longer (I have asked in the past and I feel very disrespected everytime I saw it). I guess I'll wait to see what he says.
S is really starting to get over emotional with everything. He bursts into tears about every little thing. Driving me crazy but I know he's having a hard time. Poor little pumpkin.
Have to admit.. Having a hard time staying detached tonight and finding to desire to continue. Just want to let him have it! H not S. Lol
someone needs to come up w/ a website where I could upload a pic of myself and one of H and have the characters duke it out. Like a street fighter character where I could make round houses and upper cuts.
if i have to, i am prepared to take on that challenge of raising them to the best of my abilities. one of the things i would really want them to learn is not to be fearful to love. because when you love, it can have such amazing outcomes (like my 2 sweethearts). i also want them to understand that when they are given the gift of love, we have a responsibility to nurture it so that it can thrive. i hope one day, my children know how much i truly love them and that my fighting for my M wasn't just for me.
rick1963 - you have opened the gates to LBS h&ll! lol
busy packing up for the weekend. have already lined up activities because the one weekend i didn't, i ended up super depressed!
will meet a gf tonight for coffee and people watching. btw.. vancouver is a great place for people watching. come visit my great city!
tomorrow i will head out for swimming in the AM and then meet gf to browse some local shops. also have plans for the evening w/ another gf. not sure what we're going to do but, i love being around her and her completely stable life!
and then sunday my bff is coming to town!!! she has been wanting to come out to check up on me for a while. i admit.. i really did a downward spiral in jan. there was probably good reason for all the concern. i think she'll be surprised to see where i'm at.
oscars next week! i'm not usually a big oscars fanatic but this year, as a GAL activity, i'm going to have friends over for an oscar party. gotta keep the calendar full!
Me:38.. H:33. Two beautiful kids S:6 D:3 M:8.. together for 11. Bomb dropped:10/17/11 Separated:11/07/11
I am trying very hard not to have negative thoughts consume me but it is so difficult!!! The thing is, whether I know or not.. It doesn't change the situation so why does it matter? By confronting.. Do I expect him to instantly feel remorse and come home and everything will be better? Of course not! He would get defensive.. I end up being the crazy b and feels more justified that he made the right choice.
I emailed him back saying it was fine that he stay here while we're gone and that I just wanted to know whether I needed our neightbour to check up on our place. I did backslide though. I asked if he could please move the bike that didn't belong to us this weekend. I didn't want it here any longer (I have asked in the past and I feel very disrespected everytime I saw it). I guess I'll wait to see what he says.
S is really starting to get over emotional with everything. He bursts into tears about every little thing. Driving me crazy but I know he's having a hard time. Poor little pumpkin.
Have to admit.. Having a hard time staying detached tonight and finding to desire to continue. Just want to let him have it! H not S. Lol
someone needs to come up w/ a website where I could upload a pic of myself and one of H and have the characters duke it out. Like a street fighter character where I could make round houses and upper cuts.
Mortal Kombat!
oohhh.. mortal kombat was good too! but i kicked a&$ at street fighter! lol. the good 'ol days. when you could be entertained at the corner grocery store with a couple of bucks of change.
Me:38.. H:33. Two beautiful kids S:6 D:3 M:8.. together for 11. Bomb dropped:10/17/11 Separated:11/07/11
oohhh.. mortal kombat was good too! but i kicked a&$ at street fighter! lol. the good 'ol days. when you could be entertained at the corner grocery store with a couple of bucks of change
So true!
Sounds like you have it together for your Vancouver trip! Hope you have the best time!
H just came home for his weekend with the kids. He usually comes after I've picked up S from school but today he was here early and asked if I wanted him to pick up S. He also took D.
Anyway, when he came in, he looked like he was in pain so I asked if he was alright. He tells me he's having trouble breathing so I asked how come? To which he replied because of the back pain. I asked what happened (because I'm thinking maybe he had an injury etc. It's a question you'd ask anyone wouldn't you?). He then tells me he doesn't exactly sleep on a uniform surface (because he sleeps on someone's couch). I just said.. Oh.
Now.. He has been sleeping on the frickin couch for 3 months already and he's complaining now? He also came home with all this food so I asked, what's with all the food? And he just says.. "It's all my food.. K doesn't have any groceries". Ok.. I get that but... If he's staying there most of the time except every other weekend, why would he bring back stuff like worchestshire sauce and bouillon cubes??? Wouldn't you just leave it there??
Something's up. I can sense it with my LBS radar. Question is.. What??? I really can not endure another bomb. Eek!
Me:38.. H:33. Two beautiful kids S:6 D:3 M:8.. together for 11. Bomb dropped:10/17/11 Separated:11/07/11
so when H came back after picking up S i was getting ready to leave (as has been the routine the past couple of times). H asked if i wanted to stay and have dinner. now i'm really thinking.. what's up????
so i decided to stay for a bit. watched him play with the kids. chatted w/ D as she's running around the living room all excited. then H lays on the living room floor and says he would sleep on the floor at K's place but he doesn't trust it. goes on to tell me he brought towels home from work so he can step on it after a shower... K is such a bachelor..
ugh.. yeah. obviously leaving us was the better choice right?
anyway, i decided not to wait for dinner because it was sort of weird. we made small talk and there were moments of normalness but, H wasn't talking to me all that much (not that i expected him to be all warm and friendly.. it was just.. *shrug*). i ate some of the food he had made (because he really wanted me to try it) and i said it was good. it really was. then i gave the kids hugs and kisses and then left.
i am so baffled. i am just waiting for the other shoe to drop. seriously! i'd rather he be an a*&.. i'd be less nervous.
trying to put it out of my mind because it could be absolutely nothing. or maybe he wants to announce he's moving to be w/ OW.. or maybe he wants to join the circus.. or maybe he's decided to start wearing speedos.. who the heck knows?? NO THINKING!
Me:38.. H:33. Two beautiful kids S:6 D:3 M:8.. together for 11. Bomb dropped:10/17/11 Separated:11/07/11
All this when yor about to go on vacation? Too much of a coincidence. Sounds like his " I f"d up" soup recipe might be bitter. Ya think? Don't let him wreck you trip!
