You made the comment about your controlling behavior. If you were controlling in your relationship, I can understand why she was angry. She probable feels that you controlled her in your marriage and you are still trying to control her.
My first husband was very controlling and he still tries to control me. I still get upset with him if he makes a comment to me. It comes off him trying to control me.
Maybe try a different approach and a more respectful one. Did you ask her why she was swiveling? You assumed she was texting. She probably was, but don't assume.
