Hey IB, been where you are. Xh left when son was 16. He was an honor student. This happened between his junior and senior year. He was lucky to graduate.

Xh moved 2 1/2 hours away, then 5 hours away. I was left financially gutted and both son and I both have a neuromuscular disease that affects our arms, legs, hands, and feet.

I wish I could tell you that my son has found his footing but I cant.

Over four years later, he is still very lost, dropped out of community college, suffers from depression, has no idea what he wants to do.

What I can tell you is this. What mattered and matters still is I was there. Throughout all the craziness, I was there. Throughout all the sadness and anger, I was there. My son knows without a doubt that I love him unconditionally. He knows I am not going anywhere. I will be in his life as long as he wants me there. And that matters, IB.

What also matters is that you can only do what you can do. You have to really accept that you did the best you could with the best of intentions.

Here's the thing. You son is 18. And he really needs to work through all this. You can guide him and be there for him, provide him someone to talk to if he wants. It's a tough age to have this happen although any age is tough.

The main thing is he needs to see how you navigate through it. He is watching you carefully.

It may get worse before it gets better. And yes, my son is still trying to find his way. But most of the anger and sadness is gone. He is moving forward. He has developed a new relationship with his dad. A different one.

The way for you to get through this is to take your xh out of the equation. I know that sounds a little crazy because let's face it, he is the great, big, crazy elephant in the room. But it is counterproductive to continue to focus on placing the blame on him.

It doesn't serve you or your son well.

It is what it is now. Doesnt really matter how it was two years ago. What is important is how you move forward from here.

I can tell you that you need to set boundaries with your son. He might blow up but too freakin' bad. Trust me, he needs them. And you cannot avoid what you need to do.

I know your natural instinct is to try to make his life as easy as you can to compensate. But, this is his life now. He will have to learn to move through it in order to be able to handle what life throws at him.

And every time you think back and blame your xh, you continue to give him power. Take your power back.

IB, it does get better. Different, yes, but better.