My Sitch/any better ideas than going dark?

[BFloat]

ok.. i couldn't sit on the sidelines any longer and felt compelled to write. this is purely my opinion so you can take it or leave it.

Honestly I wasn't trying to get a negative reaction from her, I was trying to show her how I felt with the stupid picture, I guess I did know nothing good was going to come of it which is what makes the move incredibly stupid.

but you were trying to get a reaction. i don't know if i would feel good about someone telling me i've ripped out their heart and stomped on it (therefore implying i was in the wrong and a bad person).

As far as the woman statement I'm missing that a bit. I guess you're saying that once I get involved with one that I stop doing some other things enjoy with myself? I think that's going to happen in any relationship. You can't play generally play golf Saturday and Sunday mornings and keep a woman happy to my knowledge. Points on the OW are duly noted, but why am I going to worry about "talking my way out of that one" when she won't even talk to me period nor can I have any concern's/hopes about the future since I don't control it. She hasn't the slighest care about what I do so why wouldn't Carpe Diem be my mantra? That is GAL to me.

ummmm.. because you say you want to salvage this relationship? so why would you jeopardize that by starting a new one (you seem to have a pattern with this)

As far as the drinking is concerned, I haven't drank in months. That probably is my most signifiant change to date, If I had stopped drinking last year I wouldn't be in this situation now. That is the fact that hurts the most. She would say the same thing I'm sure.

from what i've read.. the drinking was a bad choice. but far worse? is the verbal abuse you displayed to her. even though you've stopped drinking.. doesn't mean the pain of what you've said has gone away. by your own admission you were resentful of her and her children.


I think a lot of this is the pure rejection factor, I have really only been rejected once before and that was in college. It is a struggle to comprehend being rejected by her after the positive changes in her and her childrens lives that took place as a direct result of my actions. Materialistically I gave them a new world, which in turn caused me a lot of new stress, which in turn caused resentment and my vile tounge. In a way I think at the time I felt my actions were somehow justified because of the materialistic things I was doing otherwise. Obviously that is not the case.

this is not about winning so why are you keeping score? all the things you did for this woman and her children.. i hope it was purely out of love and sincere and did not have a price tag attached to determine what you should be entitled to. material goods are just that. disposable. don't make your love disposable.

make the consistent changes. give her space! and please.. take the advice of the other men on here.

sorry.. i don't usually like to write these types of messages but you really need some butt kicking!

that being said, i really do wish the best to you because i know you have the ability to be a great H. hang in there.