Hey Bklyn - sorry this is hitting for you right now. I'm not a L but from my perspective, you need to be prepared to answer this question:

If you push hard (and I'm not saying you shouldn't) and your H pushes back and says screw it, lets do the full monty (i.e. Divorce), are you prepared for that potential outcome? Just something for you to think about.

BTW - I like the letter you drafted.

Me51 W53 S17 S14
M22 T25
Bomb-9/11; A-11/11; I move out 11/11

It's easy to find our bottom, it is our top that requires cultivation.

Every rough spot adds to our emotional constitution. -Barney Fife