Waiting for the tides to change - 2

[BFloat]

ended up crying myself to sleep and saying to God.. i just can’t endure anymore. when will this end??? when i woke up i felt.. calmer. and reading the response to my post and a couple of other sitch reminded me why this is the best, worse place to be. i even laughed at some of the comments!

just wanted to say again.. thank you to everyone. i have been so priviledged to be allowed to share in your journeys and have you share in mine as well. HUGS ALL AROUND!!!

rick89 – the pacific northwest isn’t any warmer! well.. actually.. ok. maybe it is. the first trip will be to Vancouver island. will be in the city checking out museums and such. the second will be to a place called ocean shores in WA. i’m really looking forward to that one as i’ve never been!

ces67 – i did see your post last week and thought.. what the heck?? who does that?? oh yes.. the WASs. the poss. OW and i are complete night and day. i’ve met her. back in the day, H use to say she had man hands and that he had trouble thinking of her as a woman because she was such a “guy”. one thing i know she will never be.. is the mother of these two beautiful (albeit naughty) children!

purg – rick’s right.. that’s gross. haha

111 – (((( )))) how about we call that trip the rediscovering 111 trip instead?

rick1963 – your comments gave me a lot to think about. thank you! i am actually quite a calm person but when i get pushed over the edge….. good thing it doesn’t happen often.

my initial reaction was to contact H and make a comment. but after having slept on it i have decided not to do anything. because what will that do except bring up more resentment from H? maybe it's something.. but it could also be nothing.. and bringing may make me feel worse.

H is planning on staying here while the kids and i are away.. taking a break from his friend's couch.. i wanted to confront again and say.. i don't want "visitors" but again, what will having that talk prove? that i am still blaming and have zero trust in him. in the end, if he chooses to make a poor decision, it's H that has to live with that fact. and it will be the kids he will one day have to explain it to, not me.

i need a GAL tonight. another chick flick? something small.. like paint my nails! also going to buy myself a guitar from ebay. i know a little (from learning in school) but i would love to actually be able to play a full on song!