You're right I can't mindread her thoughts, but her changes in behavior were certainly leading me to certain conclusions, her body language, proximity to me, and things she was saying Friday and Monday nights were positive. Honestly I wasn't trying to get a negative reaction from her, I was trying to show her how I felt with the stupid picture, I guess I did know nothing good was going to come of it which is what makes the move incredibly stupid. I'm so boneheaded that I still DO want to text her now but am obviously not going to. It will be interesting to see if she reaches out to me for any reason in the near future, I doubt that will happen minus sending me a car payment, I'm already reserved to the fact I won't get a Happy Birthday on Sunday.
As far as the woman statement I'm missing that a bit. I guess you're saying that once I get involved with one that I stop doing some other things enjoy with myself? I think that's going to happen in any relationship. You can't play generally play golf Saturday and Sunday mornings and keep a woman happy to my knowledge. Points on the OW are duly noted, but why am I going to worry about "talking my way out of that one" when she won't even talk to me period nor can I have any concern's/hopes about the future since I don't control it. She hasn't the slighest care about what I do so why wouldn't Carpe Diem be my mantra? That is GAL to me.
As far as the drinking is concerned, I haven't drank in months. That probably is my most signifiant change to date, If I had stopped drinking last year I wouldn't be in this situation now. That is the fact that hurts the most. She would say the same thing I'm sure.
And I agree I am going to try to strive for consistency. For now I am consistently going to try to put her out of my mind completely so I can fully detach. Maybe she will reach out to me at some point maybe she won't, either way I will be happy. I think a lot of this is the pure rejection factor, I have really only been rejected once before and that was in college. It is a struggle to comprehend being rejected by her after the positive changes in her and her childrens lives that took place as a direct result of my actions. Materialistically I gave them a new world, which in turn caused me a lot of new stress, which in turn caused resentment and my vile tounge. In a way I think at the time I felt my actions were somehow justified because of the materialistic things I was doing otherwise. Obviously that is not the case.
Well 24 hours of the new LRT are complete, here's to 48... Good luck to all in your respective sitch's.
me 38 W 30 T 3 M in 05/2010 Separated 08/2011 Stephchildren (all hers) SS17, SS12, SD8 I filed 8/27, she countered I filed response 9/5 Anxiously waiting on the judge!
