WOW 25, I think those are the wisest words anybody has ever said to me, thankyou so much. It is really clear and have spent all day digesting it and really thinking about it.
Originally Posted By: 25yearsmlc
I think you're in a lot of pain and taking some responsibility for getting here, can be too painful at times.
I'm in a heck of lot of pain, I've never known anything like it in my life and could never imagine the strength of some of my emotions at times.
I do believe I'm taking responsibility, there are some things I've really struggled to see and with your help and Mr Bonds I'm seeing more and more each day.
OK so another thing came to me last night that I'm guilty of and I've realised now has been going on for years, it's kind of hard to explain and haven't told my W about this and don't intend to but I keep blaming my subconcious for things. Eg. The selfishness it wasn't me it was my subconcious, I didn't deliberetly mean to be selfish!. Is this normal? (or fairly normal?) I can see why I would do it to avoid taking responsibility for my actions and behaviours. But also I didn't conciously set out to be selfish in our M, I didn't wake up one day and think I know, I'll be really selfish today. Am I over analysing myself now? Or am I actually making progress in my journey of self discovery?
Now I'm aware of it, to fix this I guess is being concious of my actions and behaviours and question myself as to wether I'm being selfish or not and reflect on how my actions and behaviours effect other people. I guess from bringing selfishness out from my subconcious into my concious mind I automatically start working on it because I don't want to be selfish, I've never thought of myself as selfish in the past and I believe it is not a good behaviour to have.
I'm sure there are many other things in my subconcious similar to being selfish but used selfish as an example since it's been debated a lot on here.
