I am sorry for everything you are going through. I am not in your shoes and can't offer much advice, but what I can say is; it seems like you are trying to do the best for your family and what you want.
Don't lose focus on yourself, make her see what a great guy you were, have been and trying to become. It is your job to now make yourself happy. Make yourself a man that she can't imagine not having in her life, not to get her back, but to feel better about yourself and sitch. Be the best father you can be to your kiddos.
