MANTRA FOR THE WEEKEND: I CANNOT control what H does. I can only control me. (Repeat as necessary) . . . I’m still skeptical though. And I’m not sure why. I used to be the kind of person that never trusted anybody. And then H came along, and while it took a while, I began to trust him completely. And then he started doing stupid stuff, and here I am. That makes me sad. And reminds me of my mother. I don’t want to go back to being the bitter, leery of all men kind of person I was. I really do love my husband, and I need to figure out if and how trust will be there again if we do R.
This is hard. Figuring out how to trust is a major step to R and I think you are right to think about it. It seems to be something you would take up in earnest once you are firmly in the piecing stage. I feel that you and I are at the same kind of "wait and see" step right now. In the meantime, by all means continue your GAL efforts and keep repeating your mantra. Nothing good will come of obsessing over OW right now. I am also working hard to NOT attempt to interpret every single thing that my H says or does. it is what it is, we are moving in a positive direction and I will just have to be patient and work on myself as much as possible. Have a wonderful weekend.
Mimi
M:37; H:37; M:10 years;T:13 years;no kids. Bomb ("I love you, but don't feel things for you I should":1/08/12 Separated (H living with various friends:1/18/12 Separated (H rented his own apartment:3/4/12
