It is so much easier when it is just about "me". Why do I have to take my kids into account?? If it was just me I could cut all ties and move to Thailand for a while and lay low. Why do I have care even a little for the WAS? Cant this all just be about me?? Can I try to act 21 again??
Brklyn - I know you're in a shitload of pain. There's truly no hiding from it as I am discovering just like you are.
And I know how you feel about going back to a previous life. I have often thought about going back to the Far East and beginning anew.
We both have our kids and what I meant was that we owe it to our kids to try and mend the M. Our spouses do too, and they can't do that right now, so it was up to us alone, however we also owe it to ourselves and our kids to save our souls.
People keep telling me that I can't know what's around the corner. There's a lot of things people tell us that we know to be true but can't feel right now because of pain and fear. I don't know....I'm like you I don't want to join the D club. I feel sick at the thought....so horribly sick I want to tear mountains down with my hands.
If there's anything you need, no matter what and when I'll help you out okay? I really, really understand how low you feel.
What if someone told you that you would be a single woman and then you were given these two beautiful little girls? And it was your job to raise them and to show them how to navigate emotionally and practically in the world? I'm sure you would have chose them. What if you had each day in front of you with them...to get better and better for you and them? I know...you may not want this type of cheerleading right now.
Let the rage and despair play through though. I'm told it passes.
