Quote: Normally, I would come over and we'd hang out, I'd spend the night.
Well, of course the first thing should automatically jump out at you would be not to hang out with him and not to spend the night, period. That does infinitely more than anything you say to him. Every time you so much as utter a word about what you need him to do to make the R work right now, the more he will become uneasy around you. Actions speak louder than words Cindy, there are no explanations needed for anything in terms of the R. Just have the kids ready to go, happily send them off, give him a smooch on the cheek, tell them to have a great time and thats it. Then you go out and spend some quality time doing what you enjoy. Thats all you have to do, just try it.
If you continue to psychoanalyze his behavior and responses to this or that, you just won't get anywhere, because you will act out of desperation in an attempt to try and fix the M, rather than letting go of that need acting with confidence, and allowing things to unfold as they will.
Hope you have some fun things planned for yourself this weekend...
Quote: I know he's going to get bent out of shape about the end to the sexual aspect of our r so what do I tell him?
Perhaps something shorter? Maybe something like I don't think it would be a good idea for me to continue that aspect of our relationship. Let him ask you what you want or need in order to continue it. Make him pursue, don't put everything on a golden platter for him.
As I see it this is the only path you can take that has a chance of working.
After I stopped contacting my H it was only 3 days before he started calling me! Problem is, I don't want his crumbs anymore. Been down this road too many times.
Stay busy, do stuff for YOU, and keep coming here! Rachael
Quote: After I stopped contacting my H it was only 3 days before he started calling me!
Yep, this worked for me also. Not always this quick, but the less I contacted her, the more she contacted me. Then the next trick is learn when to let them catch you.
Yeah-the problem is I don't want to talk to my H now. I'm SO tired of the ups and downs after 2 yrs that I'm fed up. Unless I see some MAJOR change, I'm simply not interested. Let him put THAT in his pipe! Rachael
All right girls, y'all are starting to scare me. Sounds like you're starting to think like me, and that's the road to insanity.
Though I must say, I understand completely. I think I'm past needing to see major changes to the realization that my XW cannot provide what I want out of life any more. Haven't closed the door, but it would require major changes AND a plan to provide what I want.
Yep, I'm insane with FEAR! Fear that what I'm about to do will drive my h away. Fear that I'll cave in and give him what he wants then have to settle for the same old r.
I just wish I could stop wanting this man! From all indications, he not going to change and he's not good for me but alas I love him.
Pray that I harden my heart against him cause I'm sure he's going to apply pressure.
