I know in 2010 when my H had an EA with his coworker and I found out, I told him that I did not want him to communicate with her at all. He didn't like it because he felt that I was trying to control him and I think he resented me for that.
So this time, I did express how I felt about the OW (he did sleep with while we were separated). But this time I did not tell him not to communicate with her. I did not want him to feel like I am trying to control him. I am hoping it will pass if I don't make a big deal about it. He did tell me that he has kept it business with her. She would email him business stuff and slip personal stuff in there, but he only answered the business stuff. I have to trust he is telling me the truth. But only time will tell.
Yes, I gave my wife the ultimatum that she needed to stop being friends with the neighbor she texted a lot over the summer.
It didn't go well at all. She told me she felt like I was the same old person trying to control her and now divorce is pretty certain.
Me: 43 W: 37 Together: 18 M: 15 D: 8 yrs old ILYBNILWY: March 2011 She Filed for D: August 2011 She moved out: Sept 1, 2011 Reconciled: May 2012 Divorce Case dropped: July 2012
That is the reason why I did not give him an ultimatum because I knew he would think that I was still the same person.
He knows how I feel about it and hopefully he will respect that. But I am not going to waste my energy and time into it. I will put my energy and time into our marriage. And hopefully over time and he will drop her as a friend on his own. I can only pray.
yes.. my H always said it was ok and that he understood why i had to ask questions etc.. but all the while, he was resenting me and never voiced anything.
wishing you all the very best!!
Me:38.. H:33. Two beautiful kids S:6 D:3 M:8.. together for 11. Bomb dropped:10/17/11 Separated:11/07/11
H321 - It's good to hear that things are going well with you and your H. It inspires some of us to hear some happy news as well :-)
I also admire your level head when dealing with the the OW issue. I don't know that I could be that strong, at least now.
Keep up the good work and keep us posted!
Me & H: 44 D7, D6, S3 Together: 20y, M: 17y EA: 11/13/10, Sep: 12/23/10 EA becomes PA: Spring 2011 H filed for D: 09/06/12 D Negotiating began 2/15 OW seemingly gone on 3/15 Still negotiating D
I did not know that I could be that strong either. I surprised myself.
Things are great. I wasn't expecting anything for Valentines, but he did surprise me. He was waiting for me when I arrived home. He greeted me with a hug and kiss. Then I walked to the kitchen and as I was walking thru the dining room, I noticed a pink paper on the table. He wrote me a Valentines letter. I almost started crying when I was reading it. He said that he loved me for believing in us and not givining up. He loved how I have changed back into the person in met. And he was looking forward growing old with me. Then I left for class, but before leaving. He told me that if the babysitter came thru, he would have one more surprise for me. And he did. He treated me to the movies to the "The Vow". So, I had a great Valentines. The best ever.
I have been wanting to see that. How was it? Glad you had a great Vday!
M & H 25 T 9 D 7 S 4 Bomb 11/11 Confused about feelings for me. Bomb 12/11 ILYBNILWY, moved out 2-1-12 We're exclusive & dating each other. 3-4-12 H moved back in. 3-31-12 I deserve better. I'm done
It's been over a week since my last post. Everything seems to be going well.
Last night I was working on homework and our D was playing in the bath tub. After her bath, he got her ready for bed. I told him thank you for giving her a bath. As he was walking away, he said some had too. I ignored that comment and finished my homework.
We put our D to bed and I was debating whether or not to confront him about his comment. I did. I asked what was going on with him and he said nothing, why. I told him that the pass couple of days, I have noticed that he was giving me jabs for no reason. And I gave him an example. He apologized and said he didn't realize he was doing it. He said that he would work on that. And he said that he was glad that I approached him with this because the old me would have not said anything and just be pissed off.
But other than that, things are going well for us.
