Why has she turned her back on God? How do you know she has? Is God only found in church? Maybe she's actually closer to god and doesn't need a church as a go between.
hmmmm. She may not have turned her back to GOD so to speak but she no longer goes to church to hear the lords word. You don't go from Sunday school teacher to totally not going overnight. I know why she is not going GUILT!
if you think judging her this way^^^ makes you sound righteous or loving, it does not. It makes me think you've been critical of her for a long time and maybe used religion as a means of control...
So she's turned off it now. No surprise.
She knows if she went and heard the messages it would eat at her cause she knows darn well this is unacceptable in the eyes of GOD.
more of your condemnations. NO spouse returns and stays from guilt. I'd lose that self righteous tone and look inside yourself and dig way way deeper.
The people who do reconcile here, work on themselves a long time...and they don't keep on condemning their WAS for months on end. It keeps you stuck in anger mode. I know what that does.
The anger consumes YOU, not her. In fact, your anger validates her choice to leave.
Lose the anger or you'll lose yourself, the m and maybe your r's with the kids.
What exactly is YOUR own work here? You are the only one you control. If you keep making this about her
you give her all the power.
I realize she made up her mind 9 months ago that it will never work etc. Blah, Blah, Blah, 17 years what do you get? Not even a chance that's what. No she admitts she never told me how she felt. Was there a sign maybe but I'm also not a mind reader if that were the case I wouldn't be here right now.
I have accepted where we are she's been having her cake and eating it too.
for awhile, most WASs are cake eaters as we LBSers figure out what to do. But your anger serves no one. Hope you will see that soon.
Hanging onto anger to hurt someone else - is like
lighting yourself on fire to get smoke in their eyes.
Well that stops now. We will be friends if things don't work out of course we will. (But right now she doesn't need to know that) it's time for some tuff love so to speak.
so are you going to "show her the consequences" of her actions or 'teach her a lesson"??? My db coach said
"it's not a spouse's job to do that, LIFE does that for them..."
Plus it's not coming from a place of love in your heart but from a wounded ego and anger. That's a dark place to stay so long.
Work on YOU. Be a man only a fool would leave.
What are your 180s and GAL?
I have never been an azz to her in the past so I won't be one to her now either. It's time for me to think of me GAL having some fun and if she wants to join in at some point great if not well her loss.
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
