Learning as I go

[tested metal]

Rick,

I know Ellis's work fairly well and have actually told other's to use it before I even knew what it was. (long story and I was just a kid at the time). But I will look up his downloads for further education.

Ellis's approach is very risky in this situation. Although I know what you are getting at, I am afraid it would just give her more justification to continue on with her behavior.

Things have been good this last week. She has not talked to me in the last 3 weeks, even when exchanging our child. I am mildly OK with that. It is not my ideal, but better than spewing. I still am friendly.

I am taking care of myself and GALing. I joined a gym, am taking vitamins and St. John's Wort, and am reading books that seem to help me improve myself.

I have been slowly learning to control myself and my actions.

The biggest times I feel down are because I miss my daughter and grieve the ideal of being able to be with her all the time (when I am not working).

In reality, this is not the case and I am accepting it. As for W, I take solace in the fact that I am fighting as much for our M as I can by, working on myself, not pressuring her, and not pursuing a D.

I came to the philosophy that I will not pay for anything that I don't want or need. This includes a divorce. If she wants it, she can pay for it.

If it come to the time I want or need it, then I will.

But in the meantime, I will prepare and save for defending myself , if needed.


Thanks for the concern. If you have any other suggestions I am all ears.