My h is funny in that he won't fight for our m if he perceives that a d is what I want. He's said before he will not force me to come back to something I'm unhappy in. Well I told him .... why don't you make it something I will want to come back to then? He only said hmmm. What's that mean? I guess that this is him...take him or leave him.
He agrees with me that our 'reconciliation' will not fix what is wrong with us in a short while so I'm not understanding what he means by 'a month will not make any difference'.
On one hand he seems to care greatly about our m but then on the other hand...he throws it away in a minute. I don't get it.
I guess it is as you say...and everyone else says...I can only make me happy. He'll have to decide if our m is worth an effort on his part...at least more of one that he has been making. I really think the mc is just for show...as soon as Cindy messed up he bailed out...like hey that c ain't fixin' my w so what's the point?
I can't connect with someone that has no idea what he wants...the criteria for his idea of a good m changes daily! I'm dropping this rope!
I'm scared though cause this Sunday he comes to get the kids. Normally I would come over too and we'd hang out, I'd spend the night. I know he's going to get bent out of shape about the end to the sexual aspect of our r so what do I tell him? H, I'm sorry you feel as though my not sleeping with you is an indication of my unwillingness to fix the m. This is not the case and nor is it my intention to not try to fix the m. I do not want a d but satisfying sexual urges is not fixing what is wrong with us. I need more than sex from you to help us work this out. I need a firm commitment to mc, weekly calls to the kids and i asking how things are at school/work, the kids and I need affection from you (hugs, kisses goodbye, goodnight kisses, hand holding, causal touches, etc), one on one time conversations just about general topics, I need less of the rude comments/behavior and more compliments, I need to see you smile when you are with me and not looks so dagon disgusted.
So what else can I say? I'm ready to draw the line in the sand but need some help on how to present the conditions of surrender.
