Specifics, please! Can't afford telephone consult!

[ptcr]

25yrsmlc...what he said after he moved out (not really - just went to our lake house for a week) was that I was "too nice" and this was "unsustainable" because I was full of joy and happiness and forgiveness and he was an emotional zombie. MC said this is unconditional love which he knows NOTHING about because of his upbringing and highly dysfunctional family. He says this is "all about him and not me" and that it has "nothing to do with me or this other girl" etc. This after several months of MCing. MCs said we are best friends, in love, long history. He said I am great mom, lucky to be with me but that he just needs his space because we "got married too young" and he didnt "have enough sex" with other people in college. Yes, he has been having ongoing affairs with many flight attendants for 2 years. The latest is "different" because it is an EA as well as a PA. He said having sex with her is "like crack" and that it is "too late" for us because "cat is out of the bag" and "people cant change." Heard a song on radio today...something like "sex ain't better than love" and I thought that would be my new theme song! Counselor says he is full of guilt and shame and drinking too much and blaming everyone...better he be uncomfortable with reality of his choice. Yes, looking at my life and trying to remember what made him fall in love with me to begin with. He told MC that it was my "joy" and "loving family" stuff...which he did not have. We literally NEVER argue. I am joyful and forgiving. Asked MC if my fault he moved back out...she said no he just needed to prove it to himself. Yes, attorney said be long suffering wife as long as I can hang on. THAT is my plan. He is a good man, not morally bankrupt, a good Dad, a good husband, and my best friend. I am not giving up on him/us/marriage because he has an alien in his head. I am praying ceaselessly (and for a miracle).