Specifics, please! Can't afford telephone consult!

[ptcr]

Okay...saw therapist today and she was very familiar with the techniques and said, literally, do NOTHING but be upbeat and positive and mirror what he says/does. He is taking our 16 yr old skiing this weekend (who does not want to go) and to see his parents. He has NOT told his parents that he moved out on us. He is having MAJOR MLC on top of dysthymia (chronic low level depression) and the guilt he is feeling will make him uncomfortable and this will not last forever. She said put his mail in an envelope and if he doesnt ask for it then don't give it to him...keep paying bills as usual (he makes all the money) and don't say anything. Say nothing about the kids at all...he is responsible for his relationship with them. I am a military wife...I do NOT know how to back off!!!! LOL! I manage our lives quite beautifully and have basically enabled him to dip out on us, blame us for his unhappiness and seeking solace in the arms of a 26 yr old. Ughhhh.....so he landed tonight and went to his icky room and payday was yesterday. He asked me how much money I thought he should get?????? NONE! MOVE HOME! DO YOU KNOW WHAT DIVORCE COSTS! Of course, texted back what we had discussed and nothing more. I have read DB and am trying VERY hard to detach from his mess. His huge mess. He is a man fond of his creature comforts and I cannot even BELIEVE he is in a back room of a small icky house and not coming home to our lovely home where he would have dinner waiting....I know - quit applying logic!