So today, I went into my office at work and I had a dozen pink roses waiting on my desk. All the card said was "Happy Valentine's Day". I was floored. The first thing I did was call my dad to see if they were from him (and/or my mom). When he told me they weren't, I was trying to figure out who they were from. As much as I tried not to go there, I kept thinking maybe they were from H. It was the same company he used to use to send me flowers at work. A bit later in the day, one of my male friends at work texted me. He asked if the flowers made me smile. I said they did, but I would have liked to know who to thank and what an awesome friend I had to do that for me. He said that while he knew I would prefer they be from H, he didn't see that happening and he figured I deserved a reason to smile like anyone else. It was so sweet, but so difficult at the same time. On the way home, I was telling a girlfriend about it and I realized that maybe I'm not nearly as detached as I should be. I explained that the hard part for me was that while I really appreciated the gesture from my other friend, I went all day yesterday not expecting anything from H. Then I got to work and saw them and there was no indication of who they were from. And, unfortunately, my mind went completely in the direction of H. So, to find out who they were from was a pretty big let down. The funny part is that I had a brief thought (no action with it though, for which I'm proud) that even after finding out who they were from, I could still send H a text and be like "thanks for the roses, I absolutely LOVE them" and let him flounder with that thought for a while. The rational part of me kicked in though and I realize that by doing that I would probably undo the positive memory of the last conversation we had and then have to work that much harder the next time. So, here I sit... with a dozen beautiful pink roses and I think I'm just going to try and enjoy them for the beautiful flowers they are and nothing more.
