Bklyn, maybe having more of business-like agreement will help you move forward. There won't be all this constant worry about what he' going to do or say or feel.

This is so, so hard but I know that it wasn't until around Christmas that I began to feel more detached and less affected by what H did or did not do. That was about 9 months and you're about there now. I hope you start to turn that corner.

It's OK to feel that you don't want him back, sit with that and move on from it. You may feel differently tomorrow.

Turn it over to your Higher Power.

Me 57/H 58
M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13

Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do.
I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering.
Caroline Myss