The above is a very interesting thread I read today regarding MLC, Narcissism, and Passive Aggrssiveness by 4myfamily in the MLC section.
I read with great interest as for many years I (and my doctor) felt Husband was a extreme Narcissist with his pattern of abandonment behaviors. It is interesting that MLC mirrors many of the Narcissistic traits that I have observed. I never considered the passive-aggressive behaviors before. And admittedly, I will have to read the thread again, and re-think when and where I may have observed that. I certainly believe, in the latter years that I took up some sort of passive aggressive behavior in order to cope with husband, particularly in public.
For instance, I recall getting my passport at the post office with him by my side, and he became nasty and belligerent when the postal clerk was adding the costs to overnight the various documents back and forth, so we would have them in time for the last minuite trip he scheduled.
You could almost hear him growling under his breath. I stopped the transaction at that moment and put the attention square on him, in from of the clerk. I simply said, "name, you appear very unhappy about the cost of renewing my passport documents. Do you have an issue about us paying the cost that the clerk has estimated?". Later in the parking lot he expressed that he did not like the way I spoke to him.
However, this is not his first such behavior during a transaction. Most times, I simply walk out, and take of it by myself. He tried at another post office while I was at the counter. He walked back and forth, angry. Then he would sit down, get up, come to my window, walk away angry, then pace like a wild animal. Being we were in a Government building, it caught my postal clerk's eye - and he dld look concerned. I explained it off by saying he was missing some sports event. Then I discussed it with Husband when we left. As he is a foreign person, this pacing, and aggressive behavior could be profiled in a Government building, and he needed to knock it off. Handling this outside, privately, was a better method than the passport ordeal.
Anyway, a good variety of disorders can be seen in MLC, and prossibly, in order to cope and adapt, the spouses of some MLC's may have found it necessary to take on some disorders as well. I am really going to look inward for mine. Speaking to my husband's childish behavior in public was not a positive way to handle the matter - and I think could qualify as my new trials and errors with passive aggressiveness.
I got a speeding ticket today on the way home from the doctor. 60 in a 45 speed trap. I'm guilty. Have not had a ticket in over 15 years, even driving a souped up car. I was driving WUS (while under stress). Too many things on my mind. Than you for reading. Yas
Married 27 Years Together 32 Years 4th Year of Separation; D-Day 1 = 9/08, D-Day 2 = 12/08 Divorce Final Sept. 17, 2012
