7 Years in. Time to give up ?

[AntoniaB]

I agree with Mr. Bond completely. These people have failed US. I understand why so many people feel like a failure, but I think it's a dangerous falsehood to call yourself the failure when someone chews you up and spits you out and just keeps doing it over and over again. It's a form of emotional and verbal abuse. It is just as damaging as physical abuse.

It takes courage to stay with them if they are back and forth and occasionally showing progress/coming out of the tunnel. But it also takes courage to let them go with love to live their lives when there is clearly no way they are coming out of this. A MLC that is going on for 9 years is more than a MLC. There are obviously many personal demons they are either fighting or running away from that no one can fix but them. You have to live your life, not the other person's.

This does not mean you have failed at all. The first person we have to care for is ourselves, and this is you taking care of your own emotional health. It's not "giving up" unless you personally characterize it as such. It's "letting go" of a person who is not supposed to be in your life right now, which lets you have room for other people--romantic or platonic.