Right now between your W's state of mind and you trying to figure things out, neither of you seem to know what her feelings are.
Thank goodness somebody feels her 'state of mind' isn't 100%. I've been getting the impression that I was completely in the wrong over everything, I know ultimately wether her thoughts are based on genuine facts and accurate history or exaggerated and inaccurate in places her thoughts are her thoughts and ARE REAL TO HER. This is what I've really struggled with especially for the first month I was trying to convince her that she only thinks that way because of the EA. Which maybe true but to HER they are true and accurate facts. I struggle with everything that she says because of all the lies, exaggerations and I suppose that means I've struggled to emphasise with what are sometimes lies and exaggerations to me.
It's the stuff which is in our ancient history that I've struggled with, stuff shes bought up out of the blue from 15 - 18 years ago which she has NEVER bought up before and other things that shes never said about over the years all suddenly appearing at once.
