WAW told me she doesn't want to be married pt3

[witz10]

I have to say this is such and amazing ride to go through. One minute your perfectly fine and then you see or think something and boom the rest of your day goes down the tubes.
I am at a loss for words. I have no idea what my future holds for me at this point. Yea I am scared $hitless of where I will end up. I look at these dating sights and see divorced or separated women. (I know this is thinking down the line but they are just thoughts.) I think to myself do I want a mixed family with another persons kids. How can I reprimand another persons child and vice versa. What if I get attached to a person for a while and they have a kid and we break it off. I don't want my kids going through something like that. I also know I won't let anyone meet my kids until I am serious with someone. I am just lost in the sauce of life.
One of my big problems is having a memory like an elephant, as my friends and w say. I remember when my w and I were engaged and joked about a prenup. She told me back then that she was not letting me go no matter what I was the love of her life.
Guess things change huh. Funny it amazes me as well how everyone is saying to me she is having her cake and eating it too.
Oh well vented enough for now.