David, Standing, giving up, etc... is an individual choice. Only you know what to do with your situation. Standing takes courage, tenacity, patience, and pain. You have given it all of that. Whatever you do, I wish you peace because it sounds like you have been through hell and back.
Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11