So, I have decided not to validate V-day with W (just the strippers - kidding). If I were to drop a box of chocolates by the house while she was not there, would that be pursuing? I think it would be, so I have not done it yet.
Me: 44 Bomb: 11/27/11 Divorced:6/12 Life goes on: 6/13
Like most here, I didn't "get it" for a while. I thought it was about "us" instead of "me".
Want the whole thing ?
Or the readers digest version ??
Bomb 2.5 years with a live in MLCer Healing Defining what love meant to me Dropping the rope Letting go completely/wishing her nothing but the best Moving forward Court/custody Divorced New relationship Living my life for me, never forgetting the lesson I learned here
The PM function is in the trash can, right beside the Edit button. So go easy on the personal contact thing. Anything like that goes against the TOS.
So, I have decided not to validate V-day with W (just the strippers - kidding). If I were to drop a box of chocolates by the house while she was not there, would that be pursuing? I think it would be, so I have not done it yet.
To me, that sounds like pursuing, and she could think it was creepy you stopping by while she wasn't there. For me, even though I had thought I would do nothing, I gave in and did the following:
I sent a text that said "I hope you have a nice day today :)" no mention of V-Day or anything mushy, just wanted to say I hope her day was nice. Anyway, a few minutes later I got her response. She just said "ditto!". And that was that. I haven't responded since.
Yep, it would be pursuing. A box of chocolates on V-Day... that's something people in love with each other do.
I'm doing nothing today. I brought home heart-shaped gobstoppers last night, but part of that was because she mentioned a few days earlier if I was in the city and buying some for me could I get some for her. There was no presentation, no "gifting"... just the candy in the Farm n Fleet bag left on her bed. I guess I could've asked for $4 reimbursement.
My W has said something to the effect of "since I don't have a valentine" or "since I'm my own valentine" enough times over the past few weeks that I sort of want to puke. But I saw it as a not-so-subtle reminder not to pursue and make her feel guilty. I wasn't going to anyway, but it made it clearer for me.
Just let the day go. It's another day. Let her be with herself on the day and you with yourself.
And yes... dropping them by when she's not there is creepy. It also says that you didn't think she'd react well to it if you did when she was there so you took the easy route. If you don't think she'll react well, then just don't do it. The only difference with dropping them by when she's not there is you don't have to see her reaction, and can instead make one up in your head that's more pleasant.
Married 6 together 8 Me:38 W:31 second marriage for both SS12, SD10, S6 Bomb: 9/8/11 (day before our 5 yr ann) W moved out: 2/18/12 D final: 11/12/12 Share S 50/50. Spend as much time as I can with SS & SD
Did she like the Gobstoppers?? (those used to be my favorite candy!)
I'm glad that V-Day is over, how about you?
M-31, H-31 T-9, M-7 S-6, s-20mth sep 8/1/11 ILYNILWY 11/29/11 Creating separation papers. Discover H has feelings for BFF, she does too 1/11/12 H moves out 1.20.12
Too nice...