Val, reading your post there was one part that really stood out to me-
It's just bitter/sweet to have relationships NOW that I wish I had with my wife THEN. The love and safety that is involved with it.
I realize that a part of why my relationships are better now is because I have changed. I wish I could incorporate the new me into my r with w.. but she is still the old w...
This to me is the single most important lesson I've learned. If we are ever to have happy, successful relationships, we have to figure out what's wrong with the old ones. And why we are so reluctant to let them go.
This proves to me that you ARE special, because you care enough to figure that out. And you're emotionally mature enough to learn from it. Someone is really going to love and appreciate that about you.
