My wife and I have been getting along in a much more natural "like it used to be" kind of way lately- ever since I put an end to the pursuer/distancer dynamic a month ago by avoiding all R talk etc. I still show her affection (it is rarely returned aside from hugging back) and have acted like I still love her without saying it (unless she says it first) or pushing it on her.
Well, I received a Valentine's card from my wife last night. Have to say I didn't know if I would or not. The card read " This may not rhyme, but screw it. We somehow manage to keep it together- chores, meltdowns, and all. I don't know how we do it." inside it says " Hey that does rhyme!".
Inside the card my wife wrote:
Dear Andy,
Despite all the incredibly difficult times we've had this past year, it meant so much to me how you have been rock solid in your love for me. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for making the incredible changes in yourself! I am so sorry for all the pain, worry and stress. I'm trying so hard (but not obsessing) and I truly appreciate your kind, loving and gentle treatment of me. Happy Valentines Day, Love, (wife)
I gave her a big hug and whispered "thank you". She held me back as hard as she could for several minutes and cried. I really believe she is working, by herself and with the counselor, to rediscover her love for me. I have my fingers crossed.
I may be naive, but her card filled me with hope to keep going.
