The girls and I had a great weekend at my parents house. My cousins came over with their kids so it was a weekend long party. H came over this morning to take the girls for a night or two.
He pulls me aside and asks me if I talked to D3 about whether it would be one or two nights at his house. I said I didnt. He said do you want me to take them for one or two nights? I said you can do whatever you want. He said "Well I dont what to just exert my will willy nilly over this" I said "well"
He left mad at me for not telling him if the girls should stay at his house 1 or 2 nights. Come on. I am doing the best I can.
I feel ready to drop the rope. He has not made any move to R and I have been DBing since Sept. I very close to just asking nicely for him to come and pack up the rest of his stuff.
I also really want to move. It would be much easier for me accept my new life if I moved and had a clean slate. But I know moving would have a huge impact on D3. D3 loves her home, her block and her kiddy neighbors.
I just feel trapped living here like I cant move on and I am very close to ready. H has treated me like garbage and its really hard to digest. I have made major changes over the past 8 months and although he has acknowledged I have change apparently it is not enough.
If I knew for sure that H was an alcoholic or having a break down then maybe I could fight longer but every time I look at him or talk to him it feels like I am damaging my self esteem. I just want a legal custody arrangement so I dont have to chit chat with him and figure it out all the time.
I hope this post doesnt sound desperate or whinning or bitter, I just really want to be done with this jerk. I dont want to deal with him any more then I have too, it hurts too much
Bklyn - I think what you need and what your H needs is some structure around the visitation. For you it will allow you to better plan your time so that you can GAL in a more meaningful and predictable way.
Your H will then get a strong dose of responsibility that he will need to adhere to and maybe over time he'll come to his senses.
Even if you don't use a L, I'm sure you can find samples of child visitation schedules on the internet. Tailor it to your needs and run with it. Think about how much visitation you want to allow.
50/50 seems reasonable but you may have other ideas. I personally like the 50/50 because then your H gets a strong dose of what single parenting is like and he definitely needs that, wouldn't you agree?
I like the idea of redecorating your place. Heck, you might want to move some of the furniture around to create just enough change that helps you feel like it's your place and you are starting fresh.
Look, you're a strong woman. People who know you know that about you. So pick your self up and dust your self off and get busy being the Bklyn that everyone knows and respects!
Me51 W53 S17 S14 M22 T25 Bomb-9/11; A-11/11; I move out 11/11
It's easy to find our bottom, it is our top that requires cultivation.
Every rough spot adds to our emotional constitution. -Barney Fife
