Thoughts about this letter from WAW?

[25yearsmlc]

I also know my W is battling serious depression issues. She doesn't feel good about her self no matter what she does.

So she's lying now when she says she is happier? Hey I don't know her, but I have to wonder about this ^^ statement of yours. It's such a blanket dismissal as to cause. Like you could not possibly be accountable for anything.

What did she originally say were her REASONS? Not her feelings but her reasons? Surely along the way you two fought or you sensed the distance. So what were YOUR issues according to HER?

The longer you delay looking at THAT, the less chance you have of making real changes for YOU which means they're real, not merely tactics to get her back.


Many of her co-workers and so called friends have recently D and are unhappy with there own shitty lives. Misery loves company and they are dragging her down. I truly think alot of my W isses started when she meet her father for the very first time in her life 4 years ago. As sad as I am to say it I wish she never would have meet him.


You control NONE of this^^^ so it's NOT where your focus ought to be. Period.

back to YOU and your work....which is the only thing you control here.


---My W is a awesome person that's why I care so much for her. She was really big into to going to church but now that she has left she has turned her back to GOD. Why is that?

Stop mindreading and judging her. Huge turn off AND not helpful to YOU.

You are making her "wrong" to feel and do as she is but you are not in control of that

and conveniently you maintain the focus exclusively on HER and her flaws and your insights into her flaws and mistaken thinking

but not on what YOU can do NOW...why is that?



I know why she knows in her heart of hearts she is wrong in what she is doing to her family. Was I perfect heck no, but how can someone change themselves when the unhappy person never tells them how unhappy they really are? I do thank her for bring this to my attention cause it has changed me for the better.


I don't want to repeat myself about most of that^^^ --it's more blaming her and so on...

but how have YOU changed for the better? Please be specific b/c the more specific your changes, the more believable and credible, to her...at least over time.


I'm not sure what it is she is looking for in life

THEN FIND OUT...what are her love languages? How does SHE receive love? How do you express love? Are the languages the same? Dig deep!


cause the best thing for her is right under her nose. I'm not saying I'm the perfect catch but I can assure you one thing no one will give her the love that I have for her. I have saved her life more than once.


I don't know what that ^^ means but if you saved her life, do you believe she must stay with you out of obligation? So, Are you "entitled" to that? That's how I'm hearing it, atm.

But I have taken the advice of those here on the board go dark detach, GAL, and be as happy as possible when we interact. If she is too blind to see it her loss and one day she will wake up and say what F was I thinking.

so how are the GAL and 180s going? And is this your thread? I've hunted for it on 3 other's threads...(like me when I first posted here, you hijacked other's threads. No biggie but it makes it hard for people to answer YOU on someone else's thread.)

But then you started one or two other threads, with bits and pieces of your story, asking questions in a vaccum, so the advice is only based on partial info.

Stick to one thread and you'll get better responses. And try to answer the questions I asked.

Good luck

(( ))