7 Years in. Time to give up ?

[DavidA]

Ok 7 years divorced been at it almost 9 years. Finally starting to feel the anger. I am pissed, dissapointed, terribly hurt that anyone I could love would treat me this way. This is not how it was supposed to happen............

Tomorrow afternoon she pays her final visit to our home. To gather the last of her belongings and to give me the keys to our house. I told her I couldn't live any longer with her having access to our home and i wanted the keys or I would change the locks. I may change them anyway just for peace of mind...

I don't deserve to be treated like [censored] after so many years of faithful devotion. I feel like a beaten dog. Faithful to it's master yet still beaten down like a puppy pissing on the couch. I am through, I am finished. Iam trying to be civil and adult about the whole situation but on the edge of being a real [censored]. Not sure if she needs to hear it, or I need to let it out. I suppose I will just be an adult about the whole thing and get her in and out as quick as possible. Probably makes me a wimp ?

Never the less, walls are rising and the sun is not making it over the barriers anymore. Yes I still mourn the loss. I still long for the fairytale to return but am hardened by time and events to realize it won't happen again.

I remain steadfast in the home I built enabling my 2 youngest children and grandchild. They are in their 20's and one is in college and the other needs to be booted out AGAIN. But I guess that is another topic...

I hope you all have found love on this Valentines Day and it satisfies your heart mind and soul.

I will keep on searching for the person who will become an intergral part of my existence. The person I can't live with and the person I can't live without. Peace and Love, David A