Thanks nhmom. There's just so much grey area. My W would say that she just really likes the people she works with, that is is no big deal, I overreact, and I should trust her. And, actually, I do trust that she doesn't want to throw herself into bed with her boss right now. But I just can't be a good husband and father - or just enjoy things - when this is hanging over my head. I think about all the other couples I know - I don't know many Ws that have guys as best friends, or share as much with their bosses. I don't think they would accept the way her boss acts and that he lavishes gifts and praise the way he does. But short of demanding that my W leave her position - which I won't do - there is nothing I can do about it. I would really like it if my W would stand up for our M, cut the flirting, and set some clear limits with her boss. She won't do this because it would alienate her coworkers and turn her job into, well, an actual regular job.
There's just such a gap between the amount of energy she puts into "us" vs. what she puts into her work and coworkers.
I don't know what's happened in the past except that her office has spent a lot of time together doing fun things I wish we could do and traveling, and growing closer as a result. I sometimes wish we weren't married and I worked in their office - then I'd get to do fun things with her and make her smile and laugh and she could go home and argue about the kids with someone else.
(To answer your question: we relocated her for me to take a 6 month position; however, it is a position technically in her office and she is continuing to work remotely and I need to check in with her office (her) on my progress. When we return, everything goes back to normal - and we work across the street from one another. I know, complicated.)
