You know, what you and your H are doing sounds kinda like what my XW and I did, with some major differences. I tried to listen to my XW and do things she mentioned, she just rarely brought other things up. Funny how many things she wanted to do after we split up.
I think you're on the right track. Let him go, and see what he does. If he doesn't put forth the effort now, he won't put forth the effort later.
Quote: FF, What's happening with you and your W now? Rachael
Nothing. After our last reconciliation attempt, which was the first time she got rid of OM, she found a new boyfriend and moved to California. I am trying to keep in touch with her daughter, but don't really care about XW.
Bottom line - when things got tough, she started running. I think she's not happy with herself, so she keeps looking for happiness, and never truely finds it.
Currently I'm trying to make sure they got my Christmas package since I haven't heard anything. I even included a trophy she asked me to pick up for her. And I'm not surprised I've heard nothing. I generally hear from her when she wants something or I poke her. In fact, looking back, that's the only time she initiates contact.
Lot less drama in my life, lot less garbage. BUT, I really miss her daughter. I also miss being in a relationship, but I don't think I would ever take her back.
Of course, even during the roller coaster ride, I knew who I was. I've always been happy with who I am, so once I got past the hurt, I just went back to the old ways. With more wisdom.
Thanks for your advice. I'm going to take it to heart. I'm so tired of getting rebuffed by h so no more. It's surprising how little it hurts me to say that! Not that I don't want the m...it's just that I got to try to do something different. My h needs to make the moves now cause I'm not figuring out what to do for him. He's the only one that can get us out of the pit now.
Yeah, I'm beginning to think that if he hasn't gotten it after a year there's not much chance he'll get it a year from now. I'm going to stop waiting and make plans for my future.
"Hey, it's me, got your flex card in the mail today. Also friends and I are going out tomorrow so call me back or just be here tomorrow about 9pm if you are interested in going. Ok, bye."
This is one of those dates where he's going to get totally wasted then want to have a marathon night of sex (if he can maintain an erection that is). I want to go cause I like his friends but fear what he will say if I opt not to stay the night.
Well, if it were me, I probably wouldn't call back, but if I did, it would be later on today and would sound something like..
"Hey its me, got your message. Tonight sounds like fun but I'll have to take a pass, got something else going. Thanks anyway, have a good time, talk to ya soon...Bye..
If you can leave a message along those lines and do it in a happy confident voice, you officially have begun to change how things are going to be from here on out. He obviously expects you to call back or just show up, so here's your opportunity to show him there is a new sherrif in town...
