Mr Bond...
I'm not convinced I am selfish in the whole scheme of things infact scratch that, I wasn't selfish in our M. One of her complaints was that we always did what I wanted to do which to a point is correct BUT she hardly ever said what she wanted to do and when asked about something the usual reply I got from her is 'I don't mind'. This is part of my frustration, she never said what she wants, pretty much anything that she asked for she got. This theme is carried on throughout the marriage. From our talking she really must of expected me to be a mind reader.

With my needs, I feel that when we talk about a WAS that the LBS was an really bad H/W and the WAS was some kind of prince or princess. I guess I feel that in my sitch because we only talk about the negative things as those are what need to improve. I stopped 2 months ago mentioning anything to her about her changing or improving or my needs as I know that was not going to help. In my specific sitch she is just as guilty as I have been and most of her complaints I have back at her.

I know I've got to suck it up and do the heavy lifting but it doesn't hurt to be told again smile She is trying a bit I just don't think shes ready to give it 100% yet, I'm trying to be as patient as I can - then trying to double that patience and just be greatful I'm not in the same sitch as other people on here. I keep looking for baby steps and keeps seeing them, I NEED to improve on keeping my hand still (as in the feeding the squirrel analogy on here).

Thanks for your thoughts