The girls and I had a great weekend at my parents house. My cousins came over with their kids so it was a weekend long party. H came over this morning to take the girls for a night or two.
He pulls me aside and asks me if I talked to D3 about whether it would be one or two nights at his house. I said I didnt. He said do you want me to take them for one or two nights? I said you can do whatever you want. He said "Well I dont what to just exert my will willy nilly over this" I said "well"
He left mad at me for not telling him if the girls should stay at his house 1 or 2 nights. Come on. I am doing the best I can.
I feel ready to drop the rope. He has not made any move to R and I have been DBing since Sept. I very close to just asking nicely for him to come and pack up the rest of his stuff.
I also really want to move. It would be much easier for me accept my new life if I moved and had a clean slate. But I know moving would have a huge impact on D3. D3 loves her home, her block and her kiddy neighbors.
I just feel trapped living here like I cant move on and I am very close to ready. H has treated me like garbage and its really hard to digest. I have made major changes over the past 8 months and although he has acknowledged I have change apparently it is not enough.
If I knew for sure that H was an alcoholic or having a break down then maybe I could fight longer but every time I look at him or talk to him it feels like I am damaging my self esteem. I just want a legal custody arrangement so I dont have to chit chat with him and figure it out all the time.
I hope this post doesnt sound desperate or whinning or bitter, I just really want to be done with this jerk. I dont want to deal with him any more then I have too, it hurts too much
Brkyln - you don't sound bitter, desperate or whiney. I so now how you feel about losing your self esteeem with every contact - its death by a thousand cuts. 25yrs told me once when I felt this way to make sure your decision is made cooly with a clear head and emotions.
