WHG: And Alice goes down the rabbit hole...

[workinghardguy]

Woke up this morning about 3:30 and couldn't fall back asleep... finally did around 4:15. Then had one of those incredibly realistic dreams where you wake up and swear whatever your dreamed happened and it takes a little bit to process that you're in bed and obviously it didn't. The dream was that W and I were in our kitchen. W comes up to me and says she's sorry for everything that's happening. That really this has been a test to see if I could change. That she likes the changes but still has to move out for her own good right now. Then she gives me a long hug and a kiss. S walks in and sees it and gets confused and we explain it all over again to him. I was pretty happy in my dream. And then I woke up.

I guess that's the payback for actually being able to fall back asleep and getting another two hours. Totally threw off my morning though.

However, W did come upstairs this morning and had an unusual conversation. W and I share a love of heart-shaped Gobstoppers. You can keep your round ones, but the heart shaped ones... they're where it's at! But finding them is near impossible. W mentioned that a friend told her they had some at a store about 30 minutes from us. Yesterday I was in that town for work and stopped in. I bought four bags. I got home and told her if she wanted two of the bags she was welcome to them. She was giddy. Then she went over to her girlfriend's house.

So this morning she comes upstairs and we're discussing the kids' schedule today. She tells me that her friend told her she needs to tell me that she is thankful for buying the candy and really, just for having me. That soon to be XH's don't do nice things like that nor do they treat their wives the way I am treating my W. They don't give them space, they don't simply let them leave without a fight, and they don't try to make it as vicious and nasty as possible.

So that's what my W came up to say. That if she hasn't said it, she is thankful. "I told [her friend] that while T and I may never be in love again he's probably always going to be my greatest friend."

Of course I really don't want to be her greatest friend... I'd like to her H someday again. And I don't know if I'm ok with simply being a great friend. At the same time I'm pretty sure the kids do better if we good friends than if we're "typical ex's".

Yesterday W got a call from her XH after he got his notice of the child support revision hearing. That's the example of the other way the ex relationship can go. Maybe that's what triggered this convo... I don't know.

I told her that I am her friend and consider her my friend, and that in the end I just want us to do what's right by the kids most of all. That I'm keeping my focus on them first and foremost.