Starting to note another change in my H's pattern of behaviour.
In the last few days, he's been contacting us more.
He called out of the blue and offered to collect the kids from school on Friday afternoon.
Then called on Sat morning to say he would take D16 to work and went back to pick her up and bring her home afterwards. Then dropped her off at a party on Sat night.
Sunday, H arrived at midday (unannounced) and stayed 3 hours, helping with kids' homework, playing with dog.
(Still will not stay for dinner and will not eat and drink anything if I ask him if he wants to - only does so if I prepare stuff and put it in front of him without saying anything.)
Monday, H offered to drive S13 to school and 'dog sit' for me as I had to go to work for 3 hours. Curiously, he called at 5.30pm to apologise, saying he was too busy with work to come for dinner - as if he thought he'd made some sort of arrangement to do so.... Weird!
Then, offered to take the kids to school today.
At midday, I received another text saying that he wants to take D16 out driving tonight (she is learning to drive) and will collect S13 from school on the way home.
All of a sudden, he is all over us, after weeks of almost no contact.
Any ideas about how I should handle this - I've just managed to get myself to the point where I'm OK planning stuff without thinking of him.
Is it best to try to reduce the amount of unrestrained contact he has right now (I keep telling myself to let him go) or is this desire for daily contact some evidence of the beginning of a thaw that I should foster in some way?
He still seems very 'down' on himself, and my gut feel is that he doesn't really want to leave us at all, but feels too much like a failure to face what he's done to the family.
Yesterday when I thanked him for dog sitting for me, I commented that the dog had slept all afternoon (a real plus when dealing with a new puppy).
I asked H what he'd done to tire him out and he responded thus: "I'm just an exhausting person to be around".
Keen to hear what people think, cause in the past I've been too pursuing and needy.
Just don't want to go overboard in the other direction as I feel H is really fragile and starting to have second thoughts about what he's doing.
BUT, of course, this is just more of my wishful thinking.
