be more patient. This 6 weeks is a silly short time and how have you made "loads of progress"???
See my other post for how I feel I've made loads of progress, I truly don't know if I have or if I have just scratched the surface but it feels like I've learnt a lot.
[quote=25yearsmlc] it's wrong to expose to 3rd parties what your w MAY have done. It's NOT a spouse's job to show her the consequences (that is punitive on your part--your anger rules you & will backfire big time on YOU. Read what I told badluck about this please. I don't want to repeat it all. LIFE shows our spouses consequences of their choices, not a loving h. And it ALWAYS makes the LBSer look vindictive and petty adn usually like he deserved it. Like he pushed his w into the arms of the OM which is why I say it backfires... Don't do it. It's your worst traits talking too loudly--see my post on BL's thread please.
I didn't do it and have no intention of doing it now, I just have days of anger/hurt/pain/distress and I calm down before I do anything stupid, I think I wanted to do it as well to kind of defend myself because I keep getting dirty looks from her sister when I see her, I just got to let that go I guess and everything will right itself in the end.
I know my anger rules me at the moment, it feels a different anger to what I've felt in the past when I was stressed, more pure and emotional, I honestly can't see how anybody in my sitch would not be angry - childhood sweethearts, someone I trusted implicitly and who I held up high on a pedestal, someone who I was devoted to and cared deeply for someone whom I have been faithful to and stayed devoted to even when she went through a period of cruel dark clinical depression. It came to me while talking to my IC that in my mind I had a vision of her that she was absolutely perfect and she has broken that vision. I'm angry about she thought I had affairs funny how that only came out 3 months ago! and one of them was over 14 years ago?? I know that 14 years ago if I even looked at another woman my W would have my balls in a grinder! Nevermind an A. I'm also angry that 'she thought we were over' as her explanation for her EA, so 18.5 years together and thats it? 3 kids mean nothing, she wasn't going to try and save the relationship or anything?
I know some of the things she said are projections and 'fog' talk but it still makes me angry.
Phew, I'm nowhere near as angry as I was, I'm doing kickboxing and seeing an IC every week, I really have learnt to control it an awful lot better, and I am noticebly calmer as every week goes by.
