I don't know how to start this post other than say that I completely lost it! It was a wild and emotional disaster. I'm not proud of what happened. I broke quite a few of the 37 rules.
This has happened to all of us from time to time.
Don't beat yourself up about it too badly.
And now, for the bad news...
Originally Posted By: Nhmom
when I got home and saw that H had exchanged texts with OW
Were you snooping?
That is a total no no.
You will never gain anything good from snooping.
If you weren't snooping then can you explain how you knew this happened?
Originally Posted By: Nhmom
I'm still trying to understand what happened this weekend.
You took a ride on the rollercoaster.
It wasn't the first time and it probably won't be the last.
I am sorry that you went through this however, it fits with a lot of other things you have thought and said.
You may want to venture over into the MLC forum and get to know some people. The support there is amazing. (It's amazing here too, just a little different).
Definately do the STD screening. You don't know what he has or has not done and you have to protect yourself.
Just please, be prepared for whatever results you receive. You have had unprotected sex with him.
Originally Posted By: Nhmom
He asked why I didn't fight for him then. I said that I thought he was right there with me, that I didn't think I needed to fight for him.
My X asked me once, long after the bomb, why I didn't want him. I am not the one who dropped the bomb or was unwilling to try to work on the M. However I was still the one at fault for the M falling apart.
Originally Posted By: Nhmom
H asked what we do now, how do we move forward. I honestly don't know.
He is looking to you to provide answers for him. Just like when he asked for "permission" to go away for the weekend.
Originally Posted By: Nhmom
I could use some advise on how to move forward.
I would proceed with caution, continuing on the path that you have been on.
It doesn't sound to me like this is over yet. He hasn't said that he wants to reconcile, he hasn't said it is over with OW, he hasn't said he doesn't want to reconcile. He simply doesn't know.
What do you want? What would need to change in order for you to work on this R with your H?
I have seen nothing about that here.
"Acceptance doesn't mean resignation. It means understanding that something is what it is and there's got to be a way through it."--Michael J. Fox
