Where did my life go?

[AntoniaB]

Not trying to put words in Beatrice's mouth, but the way I took what she said was that it would be disturbing to your kids/unsettling/confusing, whatever word you want to call it, if you are still in a state of grief or mourning and still visibly hurt by seeing your ex-spouse with someone (which can only mean you are still pretty attached to him/her or else it would not matter to you one way or the other) and in the midst of that, dating someone else.

This wouldn't just be potentially detrimental to IB's kids, but to her...(PEI you alluded to this on Tad's thread). We all talk about how the ex-spouse "runs" right into the new relationship with OW or OM and does not take time to "mourn" the death of the marriage and instead seems intent on partnering up very quickly, and we think of this as unhealthy. Were IB or anyone else to be dating when she hadn't felt her period of grief/mourning to be all but past, then IB would probably be setting herself up for the same problems that occur in the WAS's relationship.