I needed this calamity in the worst way. If my W had not dropped the bomb, chances are I never would have changed or become proactive in facing down my depression - nice guy syndrome.
I do not see a need to end the M to start fresh with W in a healthy and loving R. To me, the dissoultion of the M is a legality because it has already ended emotionally. Yet, I am very reluctant to get it over with. I am having a hard time understanding why it is so important to her that we D ASAP. Could be a EA/PA, but I still do not see that. If there was, I still would be able to move beyond that in time.
Like I said before, I know I can be happy if we do not rconcile. I just want to make sure that she has the opportunity to see the "real me" again before she makes this change permanent. I like me now and I wish she would slow down and meet "me".
Me: 44 Bomb: 11/27/11 Divorced:6/12 Life goes on: 6/13
I know how you feel - I am in a very, very similar boat. I honestly believe my W thinks that what I have done in terms of accpeting faults and making changes is an act. She doesn't trust it. I would have to be the biggest a-hole in the world to pull her through something like that just to say "I win".
Mach not familiar with Frank's work. I do see things in black and white. Kinda detrimental to my sitch. Makes me very impatient. Why can't she believe me? I want it now!! Lol...
Crimson, thanks for the post brother. Hang in there - summer will be here soon and I have faith in you!
Me: 44 Bomb: 11/27/11 Divorced:6/12 Life goes on: 6/13
Hope things are going well for you today Grmpy_Mnky! Sorry it's been a while since I posted, but I've just caught back up on your sitch. Looks like you are doing well Just remember, when you feel down or you want to give up, try and look back over the last few weeks or months and see the big picture. It helps me to keep a journal of how i'm feeling and I write down a lot of the interactions between me and my ex. It helps to have something to look back at and think....wow, in October, things were really bad, but now they're better. Plus, all my friends are sick of me talking about it and analyzing it to them constantly lol, so the journal is a way to "talk" about it without bugging my friends.
Mach not familiar with Frank's work. I do see things in black and white. Kinda detrimental to my sitch. Makes me very impatient. Why can't she believe me? I want it now!! Lol...
One of the first things I was told was, that I needed to learn an exorbitant amount of patience...
My reply was
Well shcidt, how F-ing long is that gonna take ????
I was asking about work yesterday, because I love reading history. And Vicksburg is one of my reads this winter...
I am currently reading about the Battle of Raymond....
And I'm sure you have great insight on that.... ????
Happy V-Day to a great man!! Hopefully your W will realize that one day!!
I'm renaming it Victory-Day for all us LBsers!!!
M-31, H-31 T-9, M-7 S-6, s-20mth sep 8/1/11 ILYNILWY 11/29/11 Creating separation papers. Discover H has feelings for BFF, she does too 1/11/12 H moves out 1.20.12
Mach not familiar with Frank's work. I do see things in black and white. Kinda detrimental to my sitch. Makes me very impatient. Why can't she believe me? I want it now!! Lol...
One of the first things I was told was, that I needed to learn an exorbitant amount of patience...
My reply was
Well shcidt, how F-ing long is that gonna take ????
I was asking about work yesterday, because I love reading history. And Vicksburg is one of my reads this winter...
I am currently reading about the Battle of Raymond....
And I'm sure you have great insight on that.... ????
: )
Patience is ever - so elusive for me. I realize its rdiculous to think, but I say "If I knew now that she would want to give it a shot up the road, I'd be fine". Lol..
Glad to hear you are reading up on V'burg. If you are interested. I'll PM you my email and I can share more sources.
BTW- what was the outcome in your sitch?
Me: 44 Bomb: 11/27/11 Divorced:6/12 Life goes on: 6/13
