Ex, I understand your frustration and as I said in my previous message, I will talk to them. For now I think we need to focus our energies on the children and getting them back on track. I think it is something that we can and should do together. I need your help.....
See if you can approach it again from a neutral posture and continue to redirect your Ex back to the issue of the children. I think it is going to take several attempts before your Ex comes down from her perch to engage you in a healthy way.
Just remember to keep your cool, continue to validate and redirect back to the kids.
Me51 W53 S17 S14 M22 T25 Bomb-9/11; A-11/11; I move out 11/11
It's easy to find our bottom, it is our top that requires cultivation.
Every rough spot adds to our emotional constitution. -Barney Fife
Here's what I replied with just a few moments ago.......
"I understand you feel that way, and as I said in my previous message, I will talk with them. I know that we both love our kids so lets get back to them and focus our energies on them specifically. How can we get our kids back on track? I think its something we can and should do together. They need our help."
"Always go straight forward, and if you meet the devil, cut him in two and go between the pieces." - William Sturgis, clipper ship captain, 1830's.
can't you just communicate more? Or present a "united front?"
You do not have to do it together as in, in person...
See, to me it still looks like pursuit. Just mho.
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
I doubt your w is ready to work or do anything "together' with you at this time.
Don't set yourself up for rejection and then try to say she's a bad mom for doing it. She's not ready.
Just detach a lot more and clarify what you are asking for
and
what you are NOT asking for..politely
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
you could say "hey when I say working on this together, w, I mean more open communication about the kids and presenting a united front after we discuss things. Hope I wasn't unclear"....
Maybe...ask others what they think. It struck me that way=as in you were telling her she should work "with" you "together" and I don't see that happening soon or being enjoyable for either.
Not yet anyhow.
ok?
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
I didn't interpret it the way 25 did, but your Ex may have. I like 25's suggested response and think it sends the right tone and message.
I think I'd wait awhile to see if you get a response to your initial message before sending out the clarification. You may find it is not needed OR is badly needed in which case you will want to carefully restate your earlier point.
Me51 W53 S17 S14 M22 T25 Bomb-9/11; A-11/11; I move out 11/11
It's easy to find our bottom, it is our top that requires cultivation.
Every rough spot adds to our emotional constitution. -Barney Fife
I just said....."Hey, when I say 'working on this together' Ex, I didn't mean as in, 'in person'. I mean cooperation...more open communication about our kids...and presenting a united front after we discuss things. Hope I wasn't unclear."
"Always go straight forward, and if you meet the devil, cut him in two and go between the pieces." - William Sturgis, clipper ship captain, 1830's.
